


Dungeons and Dragons and Doxies

by NachoDiablo



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Date Night, Dungeons & Dragons, F/M, M/M, Multi, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2019-02-28 06:40:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13265826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NachoDiablo/pseuds/NachoDiablo
Summary: Wolfstar and Jegulily get together for a double date night with a game of Dungeons and Dragons. It does not go well, but honestly, why did Remus, Lily and Reg expect anything different?





	Dungeons and Dragons and Doxies

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WiledWolves](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WiledWolves/gifts).



> Written for the Wolfstar Introvert Club holiday exchange.
> 
> Happy New Year Kita!!!! Sorry this is so late, I was travelling and being a mess, but I love you a lot and I wanted this to be as good as possible. It’s still not that good, but I tried! <3
> 
> I decided to write Wolfstar and Jegulily playing a game of Dungeons and Dragons together. Reg, Lily and Remus play regularly, James and Sirius are playing for the first time. Love of thanks and love to [Hypocorism](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hypocorism) for their help with the DND details!

“Welcome, everyone,” Reg says, “to the inaugural Dungeons and Dragons Quest on our-”

“Dungeons and Dragons sounds like one of our boring family vacations,” Sirius complains. “Muggles don’t know what’s scary. What about Chimaeras? Or Doxies! Those little buggers are-”

“Merlin, Sirius!” Lily says with a smirk, “could you possibly contain your annoying remarks until we’ve at least started the game?”

“That’s not fair,” Remus interjects, “you know he can’t.”

Sirius scowls at this, but perks up when Remus presses a kiss to the tip of his nose.

“As I was saying, welcome to the inaugural Dungeons and Dragons Quest on our double-date night.” Reg clears his throat solemnly before continuing. “I am your dungeon master, and-”

“Is double-date really the proper term?” James interrupts. “There are five of us.”

“There are two relationships, “ Reg points out.

“Alright, fine.” Jame smiles. He sneaks a kiss onto Reg’s cheek, and Reg blushes.

“Oi! Save that slobbery stuff for some other time when I don’t need to see it.” Sirius covers his eyes with one hand as he scowls.

Lily rolls her eyes. “Slobbery stuff? You and Remus are practically sitting in each others laps, and you’ve been making out the whole time we’ve been setting everything up.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Remus says innocently, as though his hair isn’t sticking up wildly where Sirius has been grabbing at it. 

“Your hand is literally on Padfoot’s arse right now,” James snickers.

“His hand has been permanently attached my arse since we were fifteen," Sirius smirks. "Get over it,”

“Moving on!” Reg clears his throat before continuing. “Now, before we review our character sheets, let me go over our quest. We will be visiting the Tomb of the Serpent Kings-”

“Merlin’s bollocks, we should never have let a Slytherin pick the quests!” Sirius groans as he buries his face into Remus’ neck. “What’s the quest, kiss some bigoted old prick’s arse as many times as possible before we-”

 “In this quest,” Reg continues, “we will be accumulating treasure and fighting off a Stone Cobra and a Basilisk-”

“We did that in Fifth Year already!” James laughs as he leans across the table to fist bump Sirius. “We’re gonna ace this quest! Come on, let’s get on with it! What’s my character? I’m something fierce, aren’t I?”

“In certain settings, yes,” Lily says with a wink.

 “You’re a half Orc.” Reg says calmly.

“What!” James looks irritated as Sirius bursts into laughter. “An Orc? You think I’m an Orc? I’m the hot one in this relationship!”

 “Did you want to be fierce or do you want to be hot?” Lily asks irritably.

“I am _both,_ obviously.” James says haughtily.

“So are half Orcs,” points out Reg.

 “So are _you_ ,” Lily and James say in unison. Their both smirk as Reg blushes again.

“This is the worst flirting I’ve ever seen,” Sirius scowls as he scoots further into Remus’ lap and runs a hand through Remus’ curls. “You lot are disgusting with all your public displays of affection.”

“Sirius. How many times have I caught you with your hand down Remus’ trousers?” Lily asks dryly.

Sirius snorts derisively. “It’s your own fault for walking in on us so often.”

Lily throws her hands in the air. “Just yesterday, it was when we were in the dairy aisle at the Tesco!”

“An empty dairy aisle, until you showed up,” Remus points out. “Now, can we get on with this? I’d like to finish sometime before dawn.”

“Yeah, tell me more about my brilliant skill set.” James leans back in his chair and folds his arms behind his head.

Reg pulls out James’ character sheet and scans it quickly. “Alright well, we need a few more details on your character. The first area to choose would be _background_. Let’s see, we have Acolyte, Charlatan, Criminal, Folk Hero, Gladiator, Knight, Pirate-”

“YES!” shouts James. Lily pokes him in the ribs. Sirius and Remus start snogging. Reg ignores everyone and continues talking.

“-Soldier, Spy, Urchin… hmm… I think we should go with-”

“Prat! Is that an option?” Sirius shouts directly into a wincing Remus’ ear.

“You’re a Folk Hero,” Reg says firmly. “You’re brave and noble, but you don’t mind bending the rules.”

“And I’ve got a nice arse. Folk heroes have got to have nice arses. Otherwise no one would write songs about them.” James winks at Lily, who shakes her head even as she smiles indulgently.

“Yes well. Moving on. “ Reg ignores Lily’s snickering as she leans over James to ruffle his hair.  “We need to choose your character’s defining moment-”

“The time when I tamed six dragons at once and went on a trek around the world!” James leans backwards in his chair, nearly tipping himself over.

“No,” contradicts Sirius, “how about the time Moony charmed your trousers with a time-lapsed vanishing spell so they didn’t disappear until dinner and everyone in the Great Hall saw your-”

“The time I fought off an entire team of dark wizards without wearing a shirt-”

“The time you fell off your broom during Quidditch practice and broke your nose and got so doped up on painkillers that you asked Professor Slughorn on a date-”

“James’ defining event will be: I stood alone against a terrible monster,” says Reg firmly.

Sirius giggles as he runs a hand up under Remus’ shirt. “Yeah, every morning when he wakes up next to you and smells your horrid morning-breath-”

“Oi!” James glares at Sirius darkly. “Shut your trap about our boyfriend’s mouth unless you want me to snog him senseless to show you just how delectable-”

“Eugh! Don’t make me spew!” Sirius makes a retching sound that causes Remus’ face screw up with distaste.

“Now, onto the Personality Traits.” Reg sets down the character sheet and picks up the list of traits to choose from. “We’ve got to choose two Personality Traits, one Ideal, one Bond, and one Flaw, so- Sirius, don’t say a word, I swear to Merlin.”

Sirius’ mouth is slightly opened as if he’s about to make a shitty comment, but at Reg’s insistent glare, he shuts it with a scowl. “This is taking forever. We’ve got to speed things along. Give me that list of traits.”

Sirius plucks the list of character traits from Reg’s hands and looks it over as he leans against Remus’ shoulder.

“Merlin, these are too perfect!” Sirius giggles. “First trait: _I misuse long words in an attempt to sound smarter_.”

“That sounds fairly immaterial to me,” James sniffs.

“Second trait,” Sirius continues, “ _I get bored easily. When am I going to get on with my destiny?_ ”

“Er… what was that?” James blinks in confusion as he looks up from the quill he’s nicked from Reg and has been twirling in his fingers.

Sirius sighs heavily. “Ideal: _Sincerity. There’s no good in pretending to be something I’m not._ ”

“Well, that’s one thing you’ve got right,” Remus says with a smile. He plants a kiss on the side of Sirius’ head and reaching over to grab the list. “Let me pick one.”

Remus studies the sheet for a moment before he breaks out into a smile. “Ah, here we go. Bond: _I wish my childhood sweetheart had come with me to pursue my destiny._ ”

“I’ve got two of those! Bloody lucky bastard, I am!” James grins as he throws an arm around around each of his paramours and pulls them closer. He drops a kiss on Reg’s, then Lily’s cheeks.

“EUGH! Disgusting! That’s enough from you, Moony!” Sirius snatches back the list. He peers at it carefully before letting out a bark of laughter. “Bloody hell, this is too perfect, Prongs. Flaw: _The people who knew me when I was young know my shameful secret, so I can never go home again._ ”

“Honestly, Sirius,” Reg grumbles irritably, “this is ridiculous. Why would...” He trails off as he sees Sirius’ evil smirk, Remus’ nervous grimace, and James’ pale face. Reg looks at Lily, who shrugs her shoulders in careless confusion.

“You wouldn’t.” James’ voice is low and menacing as he leans across the table towards Sirius.

Sirius winks roguishly. “Oh, wouldn’t I? Keep snogging my prat of a brother in front of me, and maybe I’ll tell him and Lily about the time you- AUGHHHHH!!!!!”

Sirius shrieks as James launches across the table. He lands on Sirius and knocks both him and Remus to the ground.

“SHUT YOUR BLOODY MOUTH!” James hollers as he and Sirius grapple on the floor. Remus scrambles out from under them. He ducks under the table and crawls over to Reg and Lily.

“MMMMMMPPPPPHHHH!” Sirius’ brow is furrowed as he tries to speak with James hands over his mouth.

“WE SWORE! WE SWORE NEVER TO SPEAK OF THAT OR ELSE, AND SO HELP ME YOU PRAT-AUGHH!” James screams as Sirius grabs his hair. They roll over into a full-on wrestling match.

Remus sits in James’ now-empty seat with a sigh. “Well, I don’t think Dungeons and Dragons is going to work. Looks like we’re back to another round of Hungry Hungry Hippos.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! You can find me on Tumblr at [WolfstarHQ](https://wolfstarhq.tumblr.com/) chatting about all things Marauders.


End file.
